The End and Beginning

There is a time for everything. Each season brings a wind of changes, each change is an aid for our growth. With changes are a mixture of good and bad and it is up to us on how we react to both.  For me personally I have found that a lot of changes that occur in my life happen in a sort of cycle. This cycle continues throughout the year, keeping life balanced and making me put everything in perspective. You really cannot have good without the bad. Very similar to a lot of Chinese beliefs such as yin yang. Yin yang is the nature of opposites that cannot live without the other; interdependent. This is light and dark, good and bad, the workings of opposites in our world and the people in it. Yin yang is actually one of the philosophies I have always loved and ressonated with, just from the way my life has been as well as seeing how others lives turned out. I recently took this silly quiz to determine if I was more yin or yang. Looking at the description of personality types under each I thought I was more yang, however in the end it came out that I was perfectly balanced. I never thought of myself as perfectly balanced. I probably wasn’t a couple years ago. That is where change comes in. My changes throughout the years helped me grow into this balanced person I never thought I would be. A lot of my balance comes from trial and error of finding what helps me stay sane in a way, as well as the hardships, daily inconveniences and the moments of pure joy and laughter spent with my loved ones.

I think there are a lot of great topics that can web off of the topic of balance and into other aspects of one’s life. It’s something I find fascinating and will touch on another time.

What I am leading up to is I am finally done with this semester! This semester felt like the longest and most of a struggle. I had to take a class in person, which I haven’t done since high school in 2013. I had to take it at a different college than the one I’m graduating from due to transportation and how far the other college is. This meant that I had to do twice the amount of work in applying for this semester as well as making sure they knew I was transferring the credit. I had one of my online classes cancelled due to me being the only one signed up! Which was also the class that was linked to my internship, so while I took on an internship (that was an amazing experience for me) it wasn’t counting as a credit. I also needed to set up childcare for my son while I went to my course in person. All of this caused confusion between the colleges, them losing some of my paper work and having to resend everything multiple times, which took up most of my August. Then came the car troubles, my car broke down on my way home from class. I pulled over just in time because I felt it coming. I started walking with my son, planning on getting to the police station that wasn’t far, when I got a ride. Then there was a lot of confusion and annoyances with getting our new car, which is a long story, and I had to take the bus to school a lot. Today was supposed to be my official last day ever of college. Unfortunately they called to tell me I still have one more class I need, the one that cancelled. Initially they gave me a replacement course, come to find out that only replaced the internship and now I go back in January and won’t be done until May 10th. So while I am annoyed, I also am taking it as it is. I want my degree and I am so close still. It’s only one class so it’ll be easy to do while I do everything else I have planned for the start of next year.

I could be completely pissed and angry about this with the colleges and while I am annoyed there’s not much that can be done especially in anger.

Everything that I have endured made me. It’s made me strong, wise, cautious, and intuitive. These changes specifically this year are all an affect on who I will grow to be still. It’s a beautiful part of life, being able to grow continuously, change over and over, learn new things and discover yourself.

You can look at change this year in a political view as well, because EVERYTHING AIDS IN CHANGE. So what happens to you personally as well as in the world to everyone is going to have an effect. Also with the year coming to an end and a new year coming, there’s always talk of change. Resolutions are made, more political changes to come and the goals we set ourselves. Remember it’s all about balance. Take the good and the bad. The bad will make The good that much better in light. It is the beginning and end of everything.

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Current Favorites

It isn’t very often where I actually have current favorites, to the point where I am actually obsessed with these things. So here are some things I am OBSESSED WITH!!:


Glossier Balm Dotcom:

I’ve had this for almost the whole year, but kept not using it. I was using all my other forms of lip care first. I have fallen back in love with it and use it every single day! My lips have been so dehydrated lately between the cool weather and not enough water.

With Love by KM:

I got her breathe easy essential oil roller because my anxiety was extremely bad this past month and also was really stressed out. It is a delicous scented mix of grapeseed oil, lavender, lemon grass, eucalyptus, peppermint and tea tree essential oils. I rub a little on the inside of my wrists every morning, also acting as my “perfume”! I even brought it with my to my public speaking class to ease my speech anxiety a bit! Between this and some meditation I’ve been feeling so much better!!

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Colour Pop in Fighter:

I’ve been obsessed with red lips all over again, to the point that I’ll need to replace my Colour pop color after this holiday season! I’ve always loved red lips; it’s extremely classic and sexy! Plus it’s the ultimate holiday lip color!!

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Hoop Earrings:

I have been wearing these EVERY SINGLE DAY! Who am I? When did I become a girl that wears hoops earrings?! I’ve never worn them before because they have always made me feel super self conscious, I’m hyper aware of them being in my ears. However, now I just don’t care haha! I don’t know if I would wear hoops bigger than these, but I’m loving them! They accent my septum and the red lip well I think.

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She is blowing up right now, because she is signed On to Katy Perry’s label and her song “Only With You” has been on repeat all day! It’s such a fun beat to dance around the kitchen in and I love her voice, it’s unique in a scratchy way.

Hayley Kiyoko:

I’ve been listening to her for a bit, “girls like girls” is a fun song and she just put out a new song “feelings” and OMG I have it on repeat. I go between that song and Cyn’s song! I’ve also just been putting everything she sings on shuffle, I’m loving her writing style and getting inspired by the way other people write lately.

I do feel like I should have more Christmas music playing but once Christmas is over I’ll play it again cause that’s how it works right? Haha!

What are some of your current favorite things?




First Snow Fall OOTD

It’s always so much brighter the day of a first snow fall❄❄ The heavier, fluffy flakes make it so much more magical because they’re the ones that stay on your clothes, lashes and hair longer! The color contrasts are also a great aspect to winter time, the evergreens or bushes that are still green underneath the white snow, and even a bold red lip!

This look is very much around colors and contrasts, it was almost fate! Though not really since I knew it was going to snow and I wanted to wear another Christmas themed outfit.

The sweater was the main choice, as I scrolled through Pinterest for inspiration and saw tons of shirts with these big bell sleeves. I picked it up at Marshall’s last month and was saving it for just this moment! I love the accent of red around the collar with the minimalist black stripes. Plus puffed sleeves! I was Anne Shirley!

I chose my high waisted jeans, though they’re a bit big, but my other pair also doesn’t fit well…so either jeans that are too big or jeans that have gone baggy and are too big. I also don’t have a little belt anymore (yes I need to go shopping at some point, but alas mother and wife priorities out weigh new clothes) I cinched my pants up with a piece of white tool that previously was homed on my wedding dress. I thought it did a nice job and added a nice detailed touch! Underneath I have on a pair of fishnets which I’ve been doing a lot again.

My faux fur coat is about three years old from H&M and every year I love it more hahaha! Classic grey works for any look!

A couple other detailed touches were my red lips, Colour Pop, and my crescent moon/pearl choker, which I ended up taking off halfway through the day as it started to feel a bit much. As well as my slouch black hat!

I felt extremely festive and crisp in this outfit, I’ve been obsessing over red lips and hoop earrings this season (future blog or even video idea?)!!!

I’m looking forward to making the rest of this month feel as festive as possible!!! Also it my last week of class!

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Festive OOTD

I was feeling festive, or rather I wanted to feel festive. Its crazy that once December started the festive fun I was feeling in November left, maybe from loss of independence due to no car or finals or both. Either way I wanted to dress fun! I only have a couple legit Christmas sweaters and last year I saved them for Christmas Eve and Day but this year I’m wearing them all month and stole my husband’s. ( I bought us vinatge sweaters last year from this amazing etsy shop where you just ask what you want and its a suprise what they send you, I specified one for a man and was still sent a very feminine sweater, so it’s mine now hahah)

It honestly was more inspired around wearing hoops because I never have worn any hoops bigger than the smallest size possible and haven’t even worn some dangly earrings in a LONG LONG time. So I looked through my jewelry, put on rings I forgot about, and found a sole Christmas light earring and put that in with my hoops. Which just spirled into my Christmas sweatshirt with layers so I wouldn’t freeze on the bus (last day for my one  class so no more bus yay!).

Layering fishnet, Halloween socks, and a thin long sleeve shirt underneath to keep me warm.

With having to stay home a lot again and trying to get into ootd I’m starting not know where to take any of my photos. I think I exhausted my backyard over the summer and honestly just want to go back to take some on my room or house since that’s what I started out doing. So I decided to go with the dancing light on the stairs!

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Ignore my stained coffee mug hahaha!

I loved how it made me feel today, all dressed up and in hoops! It’s fun when you start with something small about how you want your look and then grow off of that! Honestly I was going to wear something totally different until I dug into my jewelry and I’m glad I did! Here is to wearing my hoops more this month!




Mom Day OOTD

Unfortunately my hair has faded on the silver side and half of it is partially grey and partially blonde. So now I’m sporting some kind of new fad, geode hair, but 3 colors. I still love it but I really just want to redo it all but I need to wait so I don’t completely ruin my hair over again. I’m looking for a brand that will be nourishing and began/cruelty free. The only brand I know that is both these things and amazing is Punky Colour but they don’t have many shades and the lighter ones fade out of my hair fast. The brand for the silver I got is Lunar Tides and it’s okay, not that impressed especially how fast it left my hair. I know part of it is not showering in cold water but that’s hard to do in the winter.

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Now that I got that rant off my chest, I finally feel a little less of being in a creaitivity crisis (previous post) and just breathing off any stress about what’s been going on. I had a nice home day and wanted to share what I wore for my homey day.

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Jeans-the same and only pair, I really need to get a new pair that fits because even these have just started to stretch out on me.

My husband’s old t-shirt that I cut up. I don’t know if I’ve written about this shirt or not, but a bit gross and weird to some or sentimental in my case, this is the t-shirt I wore (before I cut it) when I had my son. So it’s a comfort for me to wear at times.

Over top, since it’s cold even staying in, I wore a blue “denim” jacket that is from a Target brand from a couple years ago

I pinned a couple buttons on it. “Mothers are Magic” from Bee and Mae (which only come when you purchase a “mother’s are Magic” t-shirt) the reading glasses are a vintage pin that used to be my mother’s or grandmother’s, one of my favorites is the “Judy and Mickey” pin since I’m in love with Mickey rooney! That one and the “we out here” alien pin are from Hot topic a couple years ago.

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Since I’ve been in a “Blue Christmas” mood I put on these fabulous blue platforms!

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Have a fabulous, not blue day!




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Creativity Crisis

I have been having a creativity crisis, in other words I have ideas for tons of things I want to do, but I am not sure if the timing is right for some of it. I don’t feel creativly blocked, just kind of “Do I do this now like I want to or should I wait?” If I wait I think theres a chance of everything turning out better. But is the conent I want to put out what other people want to read from me? Looking back I would literally last minute throw together a look, a blog post or photo on Insta and thats when I got most of my likes vs now when I think things through and plan ahead and do shoots. I didn’t by any means always like the things I posted despite getting good feedback and have deleted some of them because I didn’t like how they turned out even if others did. I am not even 100% if this post will stay up.

Point being, am I even doing this right? Is there even a right way? I don’t think there really is. I think it is a matter of doing things the way you want and what you want out of it. So do I want more likes or post something I am proud of even if others don’t care for it? I’m trying to make sure it’s the latter. I don’t want to go into anything I do with the mentality that I am doing it for others, because really I am not. I am a creative soul and creative souls need to create to survive. This is my life and this is about living. I should post, write, take photos, and film about things I am passionate about because that is who I am, not because of something other people want from me!!

The line starts blurring once in a while and thats when I know I need to take a step back and rethink everything, pray about where I am meant go and then act. My schedule is about to open up again and I will be able to have more time to create content I want. I just am not sure if now is the time for a lot of it or not, so I will also be using the time I have coming, spent on praying on the timing of everything.

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Reading List

I’ve been trying to find time to actually read a book during my busy schedule. Reading was always apart of my nighttime routine until my son was born, just another thing that was apart of me and something I love that I gave up while learning to balance everything else. I think I’m finding some more time now, now with school winding down and needing something to do while I ride the bus four times a week for class.

Currently I have been reading “Her Body and Other Parties.” I just finished the massive section on every episode of Law and Order SUV, which was also my favorite Law and Order so that was interesting. The whole book is absolutely captivating, intriguing  and makes you think about what it is to be a women.

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With Christmas on it’s way I wanted to also read something Christmassy, so I lined up “Jane and the Twelve Days of Christmas” from what I understand it is a mystery being solved by Jane Austin and it is actually like the 12th or 13th book in a series, which I wasn’t aware of when I bought it. I purchased it a couple years back from a local bookstore in the town I was living in at the time. I could be wrong about the synopsis so I apologize if I did get it wrong. Next on my list is also “The Cricket and the Hearth,” by Charles Dickson, which is set in December, I started it years ago and then never got to finishing it so I am going to restart it and make it through this time! I love reading classics, I read “Tale of Two Cities” in 9th grade I believe and while it was hard to get through at some points, I actually really enjoy the way Dickson writes. I have a thing for drawn out, overly descriptive sentences and paragraphs hahaha!

My goal is to get through all the books I own that I haven’t gotten around to reading, once school lets out and hope I can finish within the year or be super ambitious and say in a couple months! To give you an idea there’s over 50 and a good portion are big books, classics or biographies because I love reading about famous people’s lives, specifically I have  couple Elvis, Cary Grant, Mickey Rooney and a Natalie Wood biography written by her sister which I cannot wait to read!


So here is to reading more within the next couple months and opening my mind!



P.s Happy Blogmas Babes